bhouncy

Hi. I have a problem.. (don't we all!! ). It's fairly simple really.
Thinking in terms of conditioning in the traditional sense I am
conditioned to enjoy smoking. When I think about smoking I feel energy
to move and and roll up. Now what I would like to do is learn hypnosis
and NLP. The problem is that when I think of reading about it or
practising it in my mind I get a feeling that I can only describe as
exhaustion. So here is the question. Does anyone know of a technique to
swap these two around?. To feel exhaustion when I think of smoking and
get energy when I think of learning. I know anchoring may help but I've
had little success with this.

TIA

Michael Perez

Hi Cameron,

I have a few questions to help me to clarify matters please.

Do you want to stop smoking entirely ('I never want to smoke a
cigarette again!') or just introduce choice (or more choice) into your
life with regard to smoking ('I can smoke an occasional cigarette if I
so chose')? I must say that I'm not entirely sure what you want based
on what you wrote.

Also, please clarify; can you currently take or leave cigarettes as you
please except when you're out partying with smokers, or do you feel
compelled to smoke to the point of smoking against your will at times?

Be Well,

Michael Perez

Michael Perez

Hi bhouncy,

>I've tried that before the feedback I got was that I couldn't become
>fully aware of all the information that was going on. It all seemed too
>quick. I knew there was internal dialogue but it is just on the verge of
>my awareness and was quick and quite.

Well, you might want to get someone to help you with eliciting your
strategy. This is where working with someone else can be invaluable.
Stuff that can seem transparent to you can be clear as day to someone
looking at you who knows what they're looking for. But you can learn
it too, it just takes the perception that it is possible, and then some
time and effort.

>So what stops me from becoming fully aware of all this information?

The same thing that keeps you from playing the piano at Carnegie Hall.
Practise...

It's a learned skill, just like driving a car.

>Well maybe I've not taken the time and effort to become better at being
>aware of my thinking. Maybe I'm doing it wrong? Maybe there is a better way.

Do you drive? If you do, you might remember those first few awkward
days when you were first learning.

First, you knew nothing except what you'd learned from watching other
people driving cars and watching 'The Blues Brothers'. Someone had to
explain everything to you, and even if you kinda knew it already, the
first time you grabbed the wheel and turned the key, it was all new. A
whole new world.

Then, after a bit, you were kinda driving. You were trying to keep
your mind on everything you were doing at once. 'OK, Wheel, gas,
brake... no, break, BRAKE!!" SCREEEECH! It was all too damn fast! How
could you do everything at once? Maybe the only thing that convinced
you that you'd *ever* learn was the fact that you knew even dumb people
could drive a car, so you'd manage somehow. So you kept at it.

And then, after a few days or weeks, you still had to really
concentrate, but you started getting pretty good. I mean, it was a lot
to keep track of, but there you were, doing it all and in the right
order! You might make a mistake or two, but they got fewer and farther
between. There you were. You weren't a master, maybe, but damn it,
you could drive!

Then, after some unspecified amount of time, I mean, it happened so
gradually it seemed like you weren't even aware of what was happening,
one day you realised that as you were driving someplace, your mind
began to wander. Maybe you were thinking about work, or schools, or
who knows what and Poof! You realised that you'd driven somewhere on
auto pilot! I mean, you weren't paying attention at all, but you were
working the wheel, the gas, the brakes, shifting gears, navigating,
even avoiding cars pedestrians and the occasional shrub! How'd you do
that? Truth is, you don't know. But your unconscious mind does. You
got so good at it that an impossibly complicated procedure became just
a background task, not even worth your full attention. Sure, when
traffic or conditions make driving difficult, you have to pay attention
again. But most of the time, you really only have to pay a bit of
attention to the road. The driving is just there.

So, maybe there is a better way. Working with someone who already
knows how to do it can help, just the same way having someone who knows
how to drive can help. Beats the heck out of trying to drive by just
reading a book on it. You learn by doing, and having someone show you
how is a big step up.

But maybe it can just be a matter of time and effort as well. Using
books and trial and error practise can get you started, if you're
willing to develop the patience for it.

>Suppose I could become more aware of my thinking.. what would that be like?

Probably the same as when you were a kid, wondering what it's be like
to borrow the car and take it out for a spin. Made you pretty sure
that one day you'd do it. Plus, it gave you a great feeling as you saw
yourself doing all the things you wanted to do in that car, like you
were already there...

>I'll try that later (just a note: How effective do you think the "as
>if" frame is?

It's really effective at what it does. It's not so good at what it
doesn't...

>I've been doing it a lot with many things I would like to achieve
>however it's only been a few days and I've not noticed much of a
>change.

Well, let's talk about what 'As if' does. It opens up possibilities
for us. Let's say you were back in Driver's Education (even if it was
just your Mom or Dad in the back yard). You remember how nervous you
were?

Well, some people are so nervous or scared or doubt their own abilities
so much that it prevents them from learning. For this person, when
they're in an unresourceful state like that, they can't learn anything!


And then, every time they fail, it reinforces the bad feeling. Not to
mention the instructor in the passenger seat that was becoming more and
more pissed off (or was that just what this person *thought* was
happening because they were so ashamed?). Finally, this person might
decide that they *can't* drive, it's not possible for them. That
effectively closes the door on them for driving, as far as they can
see...

So, for this person, 'As If' can be a valuable tool. It can create a
vision, a sound, a feeling that maybe, just maybe, they might, one day
be able to drive. And the more and more they imagine what it would be
like, putting themselves in their mind's eye, behind the wheel, in the
driver's seat. Feeling the wind in their hair. Listening to the
rumble of the engine and the tinny sound of that crappy AM radio their
Dad is too cheap to have replaced with something decent, for crying out
loud! Able to choose where they want to go. Never having to wait
again on a late bus or stalled train. Experiencing freedom. Pretty
soon, they might actually open up to the idea that maybe they *can*
learn how to drive... This person might even begin to be *certain*
that they can learn how to drive!

OK, great, 'As If' has worked it's magic for this person. So let's see
if it works. Our hidden camera truck shows up outside this person's
house. Regis and Kathy Lee come bounding out as he walks out the door,
spewing saccharin congratulations all over his nice clean clothes.

'You're the winner!', they exclaim!

So without further ado, they shuffle him off in a limo to the
Indianapolis 500 (Worldwide readers, insert Formula One race here )!

Now, as we know, our intrepid person has harnessed the awesome power of
'As If' to see himself as an excellent driver! Buoyed by the thrill of
his hours of daydreaming of driving, this person hears a voice in their
head.

"You can do it! You've watched people drive! You read the manual!
And now, you've driven a thousand miles with 'As If' in your head!
C'mon! LET"S DOO IIIIT'

Brimming with enthusiasm, this person leaps down to the pits, is
strapped into the car which is then towed onto the starting line
amongst all the other racers, a million dollars worth of
precision-engineered monster speed and traction, just waiting to leap
forwards to victory!

***

In the crash investigation that took place over the weeks that
followed, engineers and forensic pathologists laboured in vain to
figure out what went wrong. But you know and I know what happened to
this person, don't we?

The power of 'As If', though awesome in it's own right, can only open
the door of possibility. You then have to take the time and make the
effort to change 'As If' into 'I Am' or 'I Can' . 'As If' will let you
learn, and learning, followed by doing will take you from where you are
now to where 'As If' has shown you that you can be, and you have been
there, haven't you?

>Maybe it's my "I want it all and I want it now" attitude but
>like royalty I want everyone else to do it for me! )

Hey, attitudes are like shoes. If you don't like the ones you have
because they stink, get new ones and put them on!

>I've not tried it yet. Probably for the point I made above about my
>awareness. Again it's sort of like what I do with learning. I put it off
>until I spontaneously feel I need a little information. I guess that
>time of spontaneity would be a useful resource to have more of.

Now there's something you might want to act 'as if'...

>Thanks for your help. Even if I don't get what I want I know that I've
>learned something new!

Hey, any day you learn something new, or a new thing about something
old, is a day closer to where you want to be. Hang in there!

Be well,

Michael Perez

Venus

You also otta rememba those first few AWKward moments of driving your
car (or riding around in your body like it's a carriage) when you've
had those 6-10 drinks. Sounds like you're trying to kill yourself
slowly by drinking or smoking yourself to death, or quickly by being
outa control. Which is bad enough for U, but ya gotta think about those
other pore saps out there who you might take with yo when yo go ... and
is it even fair to them? Is that right?? Do you think.

Michael Perez

Hi Cameron,

>I've had a good firm "why the heck would I do something that distasteful"
>belief there for most of my life. I agree the Fru-Fru is good, and without
>the prior resource I'ld definitely go there. <thinks> then again I never
>drank back then either. hmm, the fru-fru is starting to sound good again.

Hey, you can test the change. Implement it. Take it for a test drive.
Calibrate. Works better? Worse? The same? Comfortable?
Uncomfortable? Use your informed choice based on what you find out.

>Yep , some part of me still thinks that smoking looks cool.
><strikes a languid, reserved pose and watches smoke drift prittily>

Cool! That's a great use of a ciggie, as a prop! Dangle it from your
lip Bogey-style, the smoke wafting under and around the brim of your
black fedora... Casually dangling from between two fingers while you
lean against the wall... Does anything in there say you need to
actually take a drag on it to get 'the look'?

>The two people that I have smoked with recently have also been people that
>for a variaty of reasons I havent wanted to be in much rapport (with them or
>my-self so they can read much of me). Floating up into confusion as a
>defensive social strategy probally hasn't helped either.

Remember partial matching for pacing works quite well in gaining
rapport. Same might be said for drinking at the bar. If your friends
are having cigs and drinks, maybe all you need to do is hold a cig and
have *a* drink to partial match them, if you'd like to choose to
manufacture your own feel-good state for a change rather than the one
the brewery wants to sell you.

And perhaps even more importantly, pacing is meant to be a short trip
to leading, which demonstrates rapport. Could you have been in a
pacing loop, trying to match and match and match? Might that also lead
you into following them down some paths that, on the whole, you'd
rather not go down yourself? Can't hurt to check!

>I'll let you know how it is going over the weeks too. May as well have a
>public demonstration.

I'll be expecting good things!

Be well,

Michael Perez

Cameron

"Venus" <veenuski@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:1140877109.848897.290370@e56g2000cwe.googlegr oups.com...
> You also otta rememba those first few AWKward moments of driving your
> car (or riding around in your body like it's a carriage) when you've
> had those 6-10 drinks. Sounds like you're trying to kill yourself
> slowly by drinking or smoking yourself to death, or quickly by being
> outa control. Which is bad enough for U, but ya gotta think about those
> other pore saps out there who you might take with yo when yo go ... and
> is it even fair to them? Is that right?? Do you think.

I'ld say the quickly one... my drinking pattern isn't enough to do that much
damage on its own. I definately do not do the under the infulence and in
charg of a machine thing so there wont be any innocents involved.